Things People Can't Ask For

I remember when my siblings and I would argue or get upset with each other when we were little, my mom would always start singing (sometimes distantly from the other room) "Jesus said love everyone, treat them kindly too. When your heart is filled with love, others will love you." Either that or, "let us oft speak kind words to each other..." It rarely dispelled the tension at the time, but it sure has stuck in my head to this day and reminds me to think twice about how I speak, act, and feel.

I live in a culture where people are generally pretty happy and willing to help out. I hear on a weekly, if not daily, basis, "Is there anything I can do for you?" "What can I do for you?" "How can I help you?" "Let me know if there's anything I can do for you." I appreciate the common generosity of the world around me. Despite what popular news trends would have me believe, I actually think that people are trying their best to do good and be good. Everyone falls short of being perfect, reacting with kindness, promoting selflessness, or truly listening all the time. People are usually fighting for what they think is right. The hard part is that everyone thinks differently, which presents the challenge of deciding what to do everyday, all the time, in response to the people we come in contact with in person, over the phone, via social media, whatever.

I am just as imperfect as the next person. I need a Savior to save me just like everyone else. I would like to say though, that I have discovered something that generally proves functional for creating happiness in my life--show compassion. Let me give a few common examples:

Telemarketer calls. I hear peeps talk about how over-the-edge irritating this is, and I have heard people tell "funny stories" about how they respond with insults, sarcasm, or other demeaning remarks. I have a question... WHY????????? I completely fail to understand. That person is not a predator, and we are not the victim. You don't have to answer the phone; if you do, you don't have to check your self-respect and manners at the door and make yourself the worst part of someone's day.

Talking to servers. My Aunt Lacey and I were talking about this sort of stuff the other day, and she said something really great. "Service people are there to provide you with something you are either unwilling or unable to do for yourself." You are not forced into their presence, you choose to be there. Why be demanding, stuck-up, impatient, complaintive, short, or dismissive? What is the reasoning? You are not the queen, and she is not your slave. And even if you were the queen, you still should be a nice one.

I would like to suggest that in a culture (world) where we are surrounded by people who are "willing to help," we try to help out first and foremost with the things you can't actually ask for. That includes the gift of compassion. It costs nothing, it's very efficient, and you can have an endless supply.

It is so easy, SO EASY, to disregard other people's struggles because they are not our own. It is so easy to half-listen to a friend. It is so easy to tell yourself they deserve it, you're teaching someone a lesson, they have to learn "better", they have nothing better to do than to bug you, or it's just not your problem. I know. I think those things too. But then I think of Him. I think of His reaction. Now I know, the Lord can be just as much the flame and the sword as He is the peaceable Lamb. I get that. He disciplines, chastens, and teaches. It's necessary and good. But you know what else, I am not Him. No one is. And you know what else I know? I know that my mom was right. Jesus said love everyone, He did.

I get that love is not always permissive. But love never means being rude. I'd rather error on the side of showing a little to much kindness than a little too much of anything else. I can just think of so many examples where the Lord showed compassion.

"I have compassion upon you" (3 Nephi 17:7) "Then Jesus beholding him loved him" (Mark 10:21) "Jesus wept" (John 11:35) "was moved with compassion toward them" (Matt 14:14) "moved with compassion" (Mark 1:41)... To name a few.

People may ask for favors or help, but I find it hard to imagine someone responding to "what can I do for you?" with "show me compassion." And you know, I've found that more than anything else, that is usually what someone needs most.

One of my favorite stories of all time in the scriptures is in Mark, where the father brings his paralyzed, possessed son to the Savior. In his humility, and out of what I can imagine was extreme desperation, he actually does ask for what I think most people need: "if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us" (Mark 9:22)

I feel the most loved when I feel the most heard. I feel the most loved when I feel someone being patient with me.

I never want to be the worst part of anyone's day. Never. My Uncle Jason told me once, "you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat those who can do nothing for them." He's right. I hope that with every person I'm around, no matter what I can or can't do for him or her, if I can do any thing, that I have compassion and help.

That golden rule??? It's gold for a reason, and it's still a thing. So a server messed up my order? Darn. I can either have a cow, or brush it off and help them figure it out. Someone cuts me off on the road? (this is my personal weakness... getting irritated with how people drive) Well, I'm still going to get where I'm going. (hopefully, fingers crossed).

President Monson said it best when he shared this poem:
I have wept in the night
For the shortness of sight
That to somebody’s need made me blind;
But I never have yet
Felt a tinge of regret
For being a little too kind.

Be nice. It's great. And it's the thing people need most and ask for the least.