I Shall Believe

December 2. The day I was baptized, my late Grandma Coray's birthday, and the day I returned home from my mission in Viña del Mar, Chile. It's a little weird writing about an experience that I have no words to adequately describe. I'm sure those inadequacies will be apparent in this post, haha. I'm pretty good at talking and writing, but when it comes to trying to share "mission stories" or "what I learned" I am pretty much left without much to say... I think that's because missionary work on a universal scale has so little to do with the words you say, and everything to do with the love of Christ and man that you have in your heart. Whenever people ask me about mission advice or stories or "what I loved most," I guess I'm always able to come up with something, but I sure hope that my words about my mission are the last thing that tells people about my discipleship previous, during, and post mission. I better be better than I was then.

Who I am and how I love had better be a prettier sermon than mission stories that get fancier and crazier with the passing of time. The only things I really care about augmenting are my love and my conviction. I loved being a missionary in Chile. I had amazing companions, phenomenal mission presidents, and I would give my life for the people I taught. I'm glad that I was able to live a small portion of my life for them. However, I will never be able to give as much as I received, and 18 months is not the measuring stick of my service--I still live for those people and for the Lord. That is why this year of "post-mission" life has been so important to me. I've tried to keep giving my life for the Lord. It's incredible how much I come short each day in measure to how I want to be, but it has been my constant goal to stay as far away from apathy as possible, and as close to Him as possible. To any extent to which I have been successful in that aspect is due to one principle: faith.

On this day that I finish my three-month reading of the Book of Mormon for the sake of these blog posts, and simultaneously celebrate a successful year of home-missionary service since foreign missionary service, I would like to focus on what keeps the light within me glowing. It is through my faith in the perfect Light "that all things [have been] fulfilled" (Ether 12:3). Faith is getting harder and harder to come by in a world that has "war upon all the face of the land" (Ether 13:25). I'm talking about in homes, communities, minds, and hearts, to say nothing of nations. "Men's hearts [do] fail them" (D&C 88:91). So if that's the diagnosis, what's the cure? What is the prescription for fear, heartbreak, doubt, depression, anger, hate, and suffering? Faith. The Light only comes "after men have faith" (Ether 12:30). Although "the Lord would have that all men should serve Him," (Ether 13:2) few actually know Him, let alone have true faith in Him whom we should always serve.

You know what I've discovered? The power of choice. The choice to elect faith above all else. To have faith when I chose to be baptized, faith when I repent, faith when someone dies, faith when someone leaves, faith when my heart breaks, faith when I have to leave, faith when I have to come home, and faith when I have to remain so far from my heavenly home. And not just faith in anything or anyone, but in "the author and the finisher of [my] faith" (Moroni 6:4).

If faith is "things that are hoped for and not seen," (Ether 12:6) then no mission photo album or name tag can provide evidence for my faith that is anchored in Christ. Every new day had better be an improvement upon the previous, even without a missionary handbook or planner. I have faith in Christ as my Savior, Heavenly Father as my Creator, the Holy Ghost as Their Witness, and the true and restored Church that is evidence of Their cumulative love and forgiveness. In that I have faith. That is the testimony I would share on this day of commemoration of so many things that are dear to me.

I hope to always share His light through how I am able to make the people around me feel by going through life serving and smiling. My biggest hope is that my own faith can continually help the faith of others to grow, despite language, location, or calling.

I'm so grateful to those who have read a post or two as I have shared my thoughts and applications from my study of the Book of Mormon, and hopefully I have been able to contribute in some way to helping someone else's light shine a little brighter. Just remember that questions are good, and so is patience. Have the faith to patiently seek and humbly rely on your faith.

Forever and ever I shall believe. :)