By Way of Invitation

Who do I envy?
Who do I blame?
Who do I feel has done me wrong?
How do I feel I am or have been slighted or cheated?
What has caused me to develop feelings of regret?
Who do I feel unkindly towards?
Who do I label?
Who do I feel is self-righteous, hateful, or “judg-ey”?

Although I wish we could all respond that no one came to mind when asking those questions, I'm sure that everyone had at least one person, group, or entity come to mind. This life is hard because it's relationship-based. And relationships means people. People are hard to deal with. They do things that are hard to understand or different, they are sometimes seriously just mean or bad. As you (and I) think of those people, however, let us not neglect to think about when we do things that may be different or hard for others to understand. Think of when you've been mean or done something bad. It's easy to be hard on ourselves about those kinds of mistakes or shortcomings, but it's also very easy to see our faults as "not as bad" as what other people have done or do to "wrong us." 

Like I said, it's hard living with people. They're everywhere. That said, they're here for the same reason we are. We lived with God, He presented a Plan, we chose to follow Christ to this earth, and we all have the opportunity to make it back to His presence. Sure, lots of people don't know about that purpose (plug for missionary work... tell yo friends), and even lots of the people who know about it still make some pretty big mistakes and can be hurtful. I promise you, I know. 

Allow me to offer a source of relief. "I speak by way of invitation" (Alma 5:62) and invite you to feel peace through Christ. One of His names is “The Prince of Peace.” Only forgiveness can heal. I understand that other people can be wrong, they can be mean, they can do it on purpose, they can try to harm, etc. But the person doing the most damage at times can be “me” if I refuse to forgive, even in the very act of the other person's offense -- even when they do it intentionally, repeatedly, or maliciously. 

Now allow me to ask you some more questions; these are a little different than the first ones:"Have ye spiritually been born of God?""Have ye received his image in your countenances?""Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?""Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you?""Do you look forward with an eye of faith, and view this mortal body raised in immortality, and this corruption raised in incorruption, to stand before God to be judged according to the deeds which have been done in the mortal body?" (Alma 5:14-15)

I'm offering the suggestion that we all "put [our] trust in the true and living God" (Alma 5:13) a little more fully.

Hear me out – offending someone can be very intentional, but it can also be very unintentional. However, being offended is always a choice, and even when the offender is doing it intentionally, it is still a choice to be offended. It is for that reason that I believe that the offended party has as much need to repent as the offender. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that it's ok for people to be mean or high-headed or arrogant as they please, but I am saying that we should put into practice what the Savior taught: “turn the other cheek" (Matt 5:39).

It is so easy to be "stirred up to anger" (Alma 24:1), to hold grudges, to try to find ways to cause pain to those who have done so to us. You know what I've found?... the merciful obtain mercy. Honestly. I don't say that blindly. The very person I had once treasured so deeply caused me the most pain, and in an attempt to make that person understand the kind of crippling, humiliating, depressing pain I had been through, I was spiteful when I could have been merciful. I should have "buried [my] weapons of war, for peace" (Alma 29:19) like the Lamanites did. 

This is the lesson that has been the most profound to me through these chapter this week. Seriously, you think someone has done you wrong? Look at what happened to Alma and Amulek in Alma 14-15. They had to stand and watch their people, including their own families, be burned alive. If you're still thinking that someone has treated you badly, picture that happening to your loved ones, and I hope that puts it into perspective. Now, take that a step further -- in chapter 15 the very person that caused that genocide to happen asks Alma and Amulek to bless him. Are you kidding me? How would you react? I am humbled and amazed at their merciful ministry. They healed Zeezrom (the used-to-be-bad dude). Without proving a point, without describing how horrible he had been to them. They simply forgave and used their power to heal him.

I urge us to remember that we do not rely "upon the mercies of the world alone, but upon the mercies of God" (Alma 26:28). 

Let us be like He who is perfectly merciful. He is the greatest Example of forgiveness, long suffering, and never holding a grudge. How grateful I am that He forgives all, because that includes me. I need his forgiveness just as much as everyone else does.

Forgive. Forgive freely. Don't try to punish, because honestly, it usually doesn't work. If anything, it only hurts the person trying to punish. "Be born again" (Alma 5:49), and again and again... thank you, sacrament. Christ will forgive us just as He will forgive them. I am so grateful that we are able to "be born again" by partaking of the sacrament as we remember Him. "Yea, thus saith the Spirit: Repent" (Alma 5:62). I know the kind of thoughts that come to mind: "Me??? Ok I know I'm not perfect, but it's not me! They need to repent. They need to say they're sorry!" I know... but that's beyond your control. It's beyond your stewardship, your responsibility, and your peace. Allow yourself to feel peace. Forgive, repent, and remember Him. That's what we can do.